[On the Air]

[Baby June]: Hello, everyone! We're back! This is Baby June, live with the tunes, and we're smack dab in the middle of our Hour of Power - a look at pop culture, fashions, fads, and all the things that make your heart sing Va-va-VOOM!

[SFX Sonic Boom]

[Baby June]: (voice lowered) We have got a very special guest here tonight. A little bit of thrash and clash imported direct for your delight. Now he might not be the biggest or the brightest in this sea of superstars, but he's an athlete, girls, with abs to die for. Weiss babies, put your hands together and give a little squee for...and I hope I have this in the right order...Aguri Kyou.

[SFX Fangirl Squee]

[Baby June]: Hello, Mr. Aguri, and welcome to the show. I hope I did okay with the name.

[Kyou]: It was fine, but, please, just call me Kyou.

[Baby June]: Thank you, Kyou. We're really glad you could join us today.

[Kyou]: I'm glad you invited me. I know many of your listeners would probably have enjoyed hearing from one of the other members of our group - I'm not egotistical enough to think this is all about me - but everyone's been pretty busy lately.

[Baby June]: I would definitely love to have the entire group in the studio sometime, but, believe me, I'm perfectly delighted by your pecs...presence. Yes. I'm delighted by your presence. It was very kind of you to make time for us today.

[Kyou]: I've had a lot of spare time lately.

[Baby June]: Would that have anything to do with being dead?

[Silence]

[Kyou]: Is that what happened? No one would tell me. Last thing I remember is looking at the business end of a long knife, then, suddenly, I'm naked on a slab and being felt up by some perverted doctor with a space heater and a caffeine injection.

[Baby June]: Sounds like my last date.

[SFX Studio Laughter]

[Baby June]: Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's probably a fucktional...a fictional thing.

[Kyou]: Yeah, I guess so.

[Baby June]: Now, as you may have been told, this is an interview program. I do have a selection of questions that I can ask you, but I prefer to let my audience call in with their own questions. Due to the secretive nature of your organization, I've decided to let you choose that option with which you, personally, are most comfortable. Do you mind call in questions, or would you prefer a slightly more...intimate...interview?

[Kyou]: Well, as the last person to find out I was dead, I don't think I have much to hide.

[Baby June]: So we can do the call-ins?

[Kyou]: Call-ins are fine.

[Baby June]: I can't help being a little disappointed. Okay, first caller!

[Caller #1]: This is only sort of a question. I heard that your brother died while away at school. I wanted to know if this was true, and if it was, offer my sympathies.

[Kyou]: Yes, I had a little brother who was killed by a certain group of individuals at his school. It's my understanding that the man responsible has since faced justice.

[Caller #1]: That means he was killed in Weiss-speak, right?

[Kyou]: I...can't comment on any of Weiss's current activities.

[Caller #1]: I think he deserved to die. I heard about those deaths, it was terrible.

[Kyou]: I...can't comment, but I thank you for your kindness.

[Baby June]: Yes, thank you, caller. Next on the line?

[Caller #2]: How can you justify killing someone? How you do you know the people you're killing are guilty?

[Kyou]: That's a very deep and thoughtful question. We could probably argue the answer all night. However, the short version is this: I can't and I don't. My motivations are...were...purely revenge. As for guilt and innocence, I am only a tool. Someone else has had to take responsibility for the judging. None of us are innocent, but I like to think that we're in control of our own guilt and that we won't abuse the liberties we've allowed ourselves.

[Caller #2]: What if you're caught?

[Kyou]: As I do not, technically, exist in a legal sense, prosecution is difficult. However, any agency that catches me and can get around that little obstacle is free to deal with me in the manner appropriate to a murder. That's the risk I took when I accepted the position. Anything else?

[Caller #2]: Yes. Does Aya wear a thong?

[Kyou]: It's my understanding that Aya-chan does, but not her brother.

[Baby June]: Thank you, caller, that will be all.

[Silence]

[Baby June]: Uh...What does Aya wear?

[Kyou]: Would you believe dark green boxers with teddy bears?

[Baby June]: You're kidding!

[Kyou]: He sometimes forgets to put on a robe when he walks to the bathroom at night.

[Baby June]: Don't you ever forget to put on a robe?

[Kyou]: Since I prefer to sleep...uh...without boxers, I never forget to wear a robe. I don't want to offend anyone else in the house.

[Baby June]: You can offend me any time you like.

[Kyou]: I'm sorry?

[Baby June]: Did I say that out loud? My apologies. Next caller.

[Kyou]: Are you coming on to me?

[Baby June]: Next caller!

[Caller #3]: I heard tell that you and your brother were very close.

[Kyou]: Yes, we were close. My entire family was quite close.

[Caller #3]: I mean really close. Like, above and beyond brotherly love close.

[Kyou]: We were very close. I don't know what else you want me to say.

[Caller #3]: Like, having sex with him close?

[Baby June]: I'm sorry, caller. This station doesn't have enough sponsors to run THAT kind of show.

[Caller #3]: But I want to...

[Disconnection]

[Kyou]: Listeners, my brother and I were very close. That's it. I think it's very insensitive to imply anything else when he's dead and I'm...

[Silence]

[Kyou]: I don't suppose there's any way to bring him back the same way you did me, right?

[Baby June]: I could do you right...I mean no, probably not. It's been a bit too long, if you know what I mean.

[Kyou]: Sorry. I just...had to ask.

[Baby June]: I understand. Uh...was he good looking?

[Kyou]: He had a great ass.

[Baby June]: Well, miracles have happened. Next caller!

[Caller #4]: Yes, I have a question for your guest.

[Baby June]: Go ahead, caller. Don't be shy.

[Caller #4]: Do you blow goats?

[Spluttering noises.]

[Kyou]: Would I be a bad guest if I asked you to spit-take in the other direction?

[Baby June]: Goats?

[Kyou]: Let me guess. This is another fanfic question, isn't it?

[Caller #4]: Of course not! Fan fiction isn't real. Now, my sister, she gets these things she calls doujinshi...

[Kyou]: Those aren't real either.

[Caller #4]: There were pictures. And there was this goat...

[Kyou]: Hidaka, is that you?

[Silence]

[Caller #4]: No.

[Kyou]: Fuck you. What do you think you're doing?

[Caller #4]: Coffee break?

[Kyou]: You don't drink coffee.

[Caller #4]: I do now. Persia got us a coffee maker. It perks.

[Kyou]: Perks?

[Caller #4]: So about the goat...

[Baby June]: No goats!

[Caller #4]: Did you have to pose for the artist, or...

[Disconnection]

[Baby June]: That was...

[Kyou]: Hidaka Ken. One of my co... One of my former co-workers.

[Baby June]: I see. Well, thank you for stopping by my...by today, Kyou. I'm afraid we're all out of time for this session.

[Kyou]: It was a pleasure being here. I'm sorry about the goat thing.

[Baby June]: That's alright. You can make it up to me with weiner...DINNER! I mean dinner. We can get hot dogs in the park. That's what I mean. Yeah.

[Kyou]: Okay.

[Baby June]: You know, answer a few less spoo...SPON!...spontaneous questions for a follow up program. That kind of thing.

[Kyou]: Okay.

[Baby June]: Nothing suggestive at all.

[Kyou]: Okay.

[Baby June]: (nervous laughter) Okay. You said, okay. Okay, great! Whew. Is it hot in here or is it you? Me! Is it me?

[Kyou]: You can stop squeezing my leg now.

[Baby June]: And that's all the time we have for today. Please join us next time when we interview the Werewolves of London.

[Kyou]: Werewolves?

[Baby June]: Don't worry, Sweetcheeks. Hairy men don't really turn me on.

[Sound Tech]: June, you're still on the air.

[Baby June]: Fuc-

[Off the Air]

Time stamp - 21:58